Chapter Two: Two Papers — Gratitude and Endurance
The man sitting there thinks the examination is one paper. It is not. Two papers are given out in the hall one after the other; one is taken up and the other is put down. And no breath of the servant's breaths is free of a test that calls for the act of worship that fits it; there is no empty time in the hall, only times the man sitting there thinks are empty. And the state of the believer between the two papers has been described in words that gather it all up:
«عجبًا لأمرِ المؤمن! إنَّ أمرَه كلَّه خير، وليس ذاك لأحدٍ إلا للمؤمن: إن أصابتْه سرّاءُ شكَر فكان خيرًا له، وإن أصابتْه ضرّاءُ صبَر فكان خيرًا له»
How remarkable is the case of the believer! Every turn of his affair is good for him, and that belongs to no one but the believer: if ease comes to him he is grateful, and that is good for him; and if hardship comes to him he endures, and that is good for him.
Look at how the hadith is built: it does not say that the believer is not struck, nor that all of his affair is ease. It says that all of his affair is good, because in every state he has a paper he knows how to answer. The only loss is that a paper should be given to you and you should think it is not yours.
The First Paper: Ease, and the Answer Is Gratitude
This is the test that has to do with what souls love and lean towards: wealth, health, standing, children, and a comfortable life. It is the more hidden of the two papers in its danger, because in it the candidate does not feel he is being examined at all; he thinks he is on a break.
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِى لَشَدِيدٌۭ
And when your Lord proclaimed: If ye give thanks, I will give you more; but if ye are thankless, lo! My punishment is dire.
Passing it is not by merely enjoying it, but by gratitude and praise. And true gratitude is three things, and it does not stand without them:
- Acknowledgement inside of the favour of the One who gives, and tracing the blessing back to Him, without looking down on anyone and without claiming you deserved it.
- Praise on the tongue for the generous gift, said out loud, with no embarrassment in the man who says it.
- Spending the blessing where it belongs: that it go on obedience, and on what people are owed in money and in kindness, so that the tool becomes a written answer and not a furnishing on display.
The Second Paper: Hardship, and the Answer Is Endurance
This is what souls hate and are pained by: illness, poverty, a tight living, and losing the people you love. It is the plainer of the two papers in pain and the clearer in what it says, because the man holding it knows he is being examined.
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌۭ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَٰتٌۭ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌۭ ۖ وَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ
And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast, Who say, when a misfortune striketh them: Lo! we are Allah's and lo! unto Him we are returning. Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly guided.
Notice the order: good news for those who endure, then a description of them by what they say when the affliction falls and not a year later, then what is poured on them of blessings and mercy and guidance. So the answer on this paper is a word said in the first moment, before the news goes cold.
Passing it requires being content with God's decree and His measure, submitting to His wisdom, and holding steady with certainty, with no anger and no breaking down. That does not mean the tears must dry or the heart fall silent; the breaking down that is blamed is objection, not sorrow.
كُلُّ نَفْسٍۢ ذَآئِقَةُ ٱلْمَوْتِ ۗ وَنَبْلُوكُم بِٱلشَّرِّ وَٱلْخَيْرِ فِتْنَةًۭ ۖ وَإِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ
Every soul must taste of death, and We try you with evil and with good, for ordeal. And unto Us ye will be returned.
The verse puts the two doors on the same footing in being a trial: evil is a thing you are tested with, and good is a thing you are tested with. So whoever thought the test lay in loss alone has slept through half the paper.
Changing the papers
Halfway through the time the invigilator passes, pulls the first paper away and puts down the second. One candidate lifts his head in a panic: but I have not finished the first. Another had been writing on the first with his eye on the clock; he took the second with a steady hand and started from its first line.
This is how states are changed: wealth then a tight living, health then sickness, being together then being parted. The servant is not asked why his paper was changed, but what he answered when it was. And the believer alone gains twice by the change: he gave thanks on the first and gained, and he endured on the second and gained.
| Aspect | The paper of ease | The paper of hardship |
|---|---|---|
| What the question is made of | Money, health, standing and children | Illness, poverty, hard living and loss |
| Its danger | Hidden; the candidate thinks it is a rest | Plain; the man holding it knows he is being examined |
| The right answer | Gratitude in the heart, on the tongue, and in the spending | Contentment and steadiness without anger |
| The sign of stumbling | Tracing the blessing back to yourself and your cleverness | Objecting to the decree, and breaking down |
| Its mark on the heart | A humility that grows as the giving grows | A calm the storms do not shake |
The candidate in whom this balanced understanding of the two papers has settled has such stillness and calm poured into his heart that he meets the turning of his states with a steadiness no wind of trial can move; because he has stopped asking, why has this happened to me? and has started asking, what is the answer this paper wants?